For goodness sake can people just stop asking me about/to do things that are not in my control??!?! I don't know!! Which part of I D-O-N-T K-N-O-W do you not understand?? If I don't know, asking me an extra 1000 times doesn't suddenly provide me with an answer. ARGH!!
Only less than two weeks till I leave home again.
This time for a much longer period than before. Yes, my parents can come to visit me, but my grandma can't.
I just feel so safe at home, I don't want to be alone in the UK again...
I'm bored of this never ending thought in my head that is so useless and time wasting. It just goes round and round and round...ffs
I need LA to get rid of this addiction
Should be sleeping but Stephen Chow's old movie was on tv just now and I just couldn't resist watching it! It's the funny version of the journey to the west, so it relates (sort of) to the flaming mountain that I just visited not long ago :P OH NO!!! Guess what? the sequel of the movie I just watched is going to be on next... oh well, I guess being jetlagged for a month could pass as an excuse.
Been doing quite a lot lately. Visiting relatives, going to XinJiang and bits of Silk road there, now am counting down my days left in HK before 3rd year starts.
I've also been thinking alot lately too, probably not so worried about the usual work stuff therefore having more time to think. I've always thought I care A LOT about the people I love, but recent events suggests otherwise. Instead I come across selfish. Feel kinda sad and useless because I can't even make the people I love feel that I care for them very much. These recent events just reminds me of the numerous amount of times J told me that I'm a selfish cow and I don't give a shit about his feelings. At the time I didn't understand what he was talking about because I care for him more than anything else in the world and gave him everything, what else does he want? I feel lost, because although I realise the way I care for people is obviously wrong but I have no idea why and what to change. This sucks. Shit, even the person up there agrees by lightening and thunder outside.
Not so sure if I'm just imagining this feeling or if it's real.
I have just realised that I found someone who I get along so so well with and feel so close to (didn't realise when I had my chance), but many other things (not sure if they are trivial or not, but they have nothing to do with how we get along/connect with each other) are telling me it's just not a good idea to think or do anything about it now.
I don't trust my intuition anymore - they get me into trouble every time.
Am still in love with Michael Buble - He gives me hope in finding 'the one'
Maybe, just maybe it could happen to me... one day.
Those good old days Terri! 
hehehehehehehehe
Bad sound quality but 軟硬 are just classic!!
'eh, 你地有冇一本書叫做 I teach the lesson in a Spanish way? 個本用英文法音來教講法文架呢?'
and 'Shan-mon-pere I teach you in a Spanish way city commersh'
hahahahaha
Aaai, I guess it's just a confirmation of what I suspected.
I'm over him.
Still, when I read and saw this 'In a relationship' status, it kind of gave me a feeling of someone squeezing my heart... well, a little, not as hard as before I guess.
Can you ever be TOTALLY over someone?
I think it's just a shame that me and him can't carry on as being friends I guess.
I am surprisingly 'not-too-bothered' by this.
La la la la la la la
Okay, am gonna read Netter's
You wouldn't believe TV shows in the old days are just soooo much better than nowadays. Here's the proof.
Spot the woman with the MOST AMAZING EARRINGS I've ever seen in my life (Can so wear them for the Bling Bling disco) - reminds me of Startrek characters :P
Last week I must have had the most emotionally unstable week ever - it has now settled because the exam adrenaline finally kicked in!!! (either that or Jeng's choc cake has a very calming effect... how much chocolate did you put in or did you put in something else too? :P) "Fighting! Fighting!!" <-- you have to watch Full House
Just something which is strangely funny, and mesmerising for no reason really but made me laugh and felt like I was on crack :P
Enjoy!
Please, whoever is reading this blog of mine, everyone - yes! you who is just reading this - please could you tell me how you concentrate and stop your mind from wondering off when you study?
I'm so so stressed with how much I need to know for this exam, yet my mind is still wanders off elsewhere and think about useless things. Yes, emotional things that I should not think about.
I know I shouldn't think about these things but my brain just does. I've thought it through, I know what is important and what is not, I know things can't be forced and I know dwelling on it is a stupid thing to do. I've tried to block it out for the past couple of weeks but nothing is working, I'm getting more stressed and upset than ever. Today I even so nearly went to buy some cigarettes. I'm desperate.
Please, someone just crack open my skull and take that part of the brain out so I won't think about this crap ever again.
Haven't written here for ages!!
The reasons why were that
1) I am currently churning out some sort of essay that will eventually be the SSM write up that I have to give in next wednesday.
2) No internet at home because of stupid Tiscali - they decided to reconnect our old place again... aaai...
3) Nothing really happened recently because I have stopped doing everything - even going to lectures - so that I can finish my SSM write up
So... I'm afraid before my internet is back on at home... I'm gonna be a little MIA!!
... is what I got for my exams.
(Just incase you don't know what this means... It means that I FAILED)
They named this very well don't they? Because these results are causing me to concern about my effort and abilities very seriously.
I deserved these results.
I also know what I need to and am suppose to do to fix the situation.
But I'm not sure if I want to fix it.
我不再知道做這麼多來做甚麼
為將來? 我想我沒有這麼幸運會遇到愛我的男人
為父母? 他們不需要金錢的幫助
為自己? 做研究生已足夠我生活
Why the hell do I need to do this?
I went to Tescos today and had a random thought when I was standing in the queue, waiting to pay...
'Oh look these people in front of me are buying so little'
'They must have a car and comes here all the time'
'Ooh they are a couple'
'They look sweet, the guy looks laddish and the girl was er... very silvery with silver bag and shoes'
'Hmm I miss being a couple'
'I miss...James? Hold on, but I don't'
'I don't miss Tenny either'
'I don't miss anyone at the moment'
'But something is missing!!'
'I miss being in love? I miss that feeling?'
'Am I so desperately wanting to be with this certain someone because I just miss being in love? Having the habits of love?'
'But I do like him alot... until recently'
'How do I know if I want to be with him, or if I just want to be in love (ie it could be anyone)?'
'Are these things really that clear-cut?'
'I guess it doesn't matter... he doesn't want anything to do with me.'
'Maybe it's for the best...'
Me mind is going round and round and ROUND in circles!!!
*sigh*
Quite an eventful day I had though.
Went and did lots of shopping.
Bought a new lavender plant - the old one in my room is dying and there's nothing I can do to stop it dying :(
Had some lovely friends round for dinner and watched Eurovision song contest 2007 - we got 19 points!! 12 from Malta and 7 from Ireland!! We were joint 2nd to last with France! But I thought Scooch was brilliant!! They must have fixed those Serbia lesses to win >:(
Went out to karaoke for a friend's birthday and it was a rather interesting experience. Me and Shiv didn't know anyone else there other than the birthday girl. Then Shiv was just chatting to this girl next to her, who Shiv thought was a collegue who worked with the birthday girl. Please guess what she said. I was shocked to hear that she said no, she was her superior, and so are the 2 other friends sitting next to her. How rude!!! Was that really necessary?? We were in London Chinatown, not some hospital! Not only was she rude, she also have the loudest singing voice which is ALWAYS OUT OF TUNE!! And she's a mic-hugger. Just that you are the birthday girl's superior, doesn't mean I have to personally respect you!! Especially when you keep the mic from the karaoke queen!!!!! I was not impressed that I can't sing my canto pop, not you won't let me sing at all??? I spent 25 pounds just to sit there, drink whiskey and green tea (which was foul) AND I have to bloody deafen myself by listening to her sing song after song? (not to mention nicking the songs that WE CHOSE)
This was not all. The other two 'superior' friends were an Asian guy and a Caucasian lady. They chose this song that NO ONE knew. So Shiv and I had our mouths open when this song came on and I said 'Wow, what the hell is this song?'. And I did not expect this reply at all *At this point, the video was that this guy was playing on his guitar* - the 'superior' Caucasian lady said 'It is a GUITAR~' *With playing an air-guitar gesture while saying it*. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!????!!!! She is a bloody rocket scientist isn't she? Just that I look Chinese and I am Chinese, it doesn't mean that I'm stupid and should be treated like an imbecile? What do you mean it's a flipping guitar playing? Do I look blind? For crying out loud! These people are just so unbelievably ignorant it's disgusting.
