It's been a while

Should be sleeping but Stephen Chow's old movie was on tv just now and I just couldn't resist watching it! It's the funny version of the journey to the west, so it relates (sort of) to the flaming mountain that I just visited not long ago :P OH NO!!! Guess what? the sequel of the movie I just watched is going to be on next... oh well, I guess being jetlagged for a month could pass as an excuse.

Been doing quite a lot lately. Visiting relatives, going to XinJiang and bits of Silk road there, now am counting down my days left in HK before 3rd year starts.

I've also been thinking alot lately too, probably not so worried about the usual work stuff therefore having more time to think. I've always thought I care A LOT about the people I love, but recent events suggests otherwise. Instead I come across selfish. Feel kinda sad and useless because I can't even make the people I love feel that I care for them very much. These recent events just reminds me of the numerous amount of times J told me that I'm a selfish cow and I don't give a shit about his feelings. At the time I didn't understand what he was talking about because I care for him more than anything else in the world and gave him everything, what else does he want? I feel lost, because although I realise the way I care for people is obviously wrong but I have no idea why and what to change. This sucks. Shit, even the person up there agrees by lightening and thunder outside.